5 Ways to Set Postpartum Expectations with Your Family
Postpartum is a wild ride, and expecting your partner or loved ones to magically know how to support you without a conversation? That’s a setup for frustration on all sides.
So instead of waiting until the baby arrives and everything’s hitting at once, let’s talk about how to start the conversation now. The earlier and more honestly you talk about what’s coming, the more likely you’ll feel supported, seen, and less like you're carrying the whole thing alone.
Here are five lessons to guide the conversation—before the chaos begins.
In this episode, we will cover:
Why discussing postpartum expectations with your partner and support system is essential.
The key topics to address so everyone is on the same page before your baby arrives.
How to start these conversations without feeling awkward or overwhelmed.
… and a whole lot more!
Lesson #1: Start the Conversation Early
(Like, before the third trimester if you can.)
You don’t need a full-blown postpartum plan written in stone by week 20, but you do want to start talking about what life might look like after baby comes.
The earlier you open up these conversations, the more space you give yourselves to think things through without the pressure of sleepless nights, crying (baby or you), and the general haze of newborn life.
Start with gentle questions like:
“What do you think our days will look like in the beginning?”
“How can we make sure we’re both getting rest?”
“What do you think I’ll need most in those first few weeks?”
Lesson #2: Be Honest About What You Need
(Even if it feels awkward at first.)
Postpartum is emotional, raw, and sometimes…lonely. The more honestly you can express what you think you’ll need—physical help, emotional check-ins, time for yourself—the easier it will be for others to show up in a way that actually helps.
Even if you're not 100% sure what that support will look like yet, starting from a place of honesty lays the foundation for deeper communication later on.
Try phrases like:
“I might need more emotional reassurance than usual after birth.”
“If I seem overwhelmed, checking in on me (not just the baby) would mean a lot.”
“Can we talk about how you can support me when I’m recovering physically?”
Lesson #3: Clarify Your Support System
(Because “let me know if you need anything” doesn’t cut it.)
Start identifying who your people are and how you want them to help—before baby arrives. This helps avoid the scramble later and makes it easier to set boundaries or delegate tasks.
Think about:
Who can bring meals?
Who’s your go-to for emotional support?
Who’s on diaper duty when you're tapped out?
And don’t be afraid to clarify boundaries like:
“We’d love short visits, but not pop-ins.”
“Please check in before bringing advice or opinions.”
Lesson #4: Set Realistic Expectations for Your Physical and Emotional Recovery
(Not just “bounce back” nonsense.)
It’s easy to underestimate what recovery will look like—especially if you're hearing messages like, “You’ll be back to normal in six weeks!”
Spoiler alert: there is no going back. And six weeks is not a magic number.
Start talking about what you actually expect from yourself:
Will you be okay with an undone house?
What’s your plan for healing—pelvic floor PT, mental health check-ins, etc.?
How will you communicate when you're not okay?
Let people in on the reality you’re preparing for so they can support you accordingly.
Lesson #5: Revisit the Conversation Regularly
(Because postpartum isn’t a one-and-done kind of deal.)
As your baby grows, your needs, emotions, and priorities will shift—and so should your conversations. Maybe what worked in week 2 won’t feel good by month 3, and that’s okay.
Make a habit of checking in:
“What’s working for us right now?”
“What’s starting to feel heavy?”
“Is there anything we should adjust?”
Keeping the lines of communication open gives you both room to grow and adapt without resentment building in the background.
Bottom line? Be Intentional.
Postpartum support doesn’t just happen.
It starts with intentional conversations, before the baby arrives, and continues with honest, flexible communication along the way.
This is your reminder that your voice, your needs, and your experience matter just as much as the baby’s. And the more you talk about that now, the more supported you’ll feel later.
Want help walking through what to say and how to prep your support team ahead of time?
Download The New Mom Reset—my free guide packed with simple steps to help you feel like yourself again (with way less guesswork and a lot more support).
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